Doing Nothing

Once a year I go to the beach alone. Sometimes I have a plan with things to do but mostly it is a getaway from daily life. Do not think I lack gratitude for the freedom and ability to do this because I am super grateful. But this year I had nothing to do. What a torment!

My relationship with my wife is the best it has been in twenty years, check. My kids are all doing great, check. My business is doing well, check. I am happy and healthy, check. Let’s see, what is there to worry about? Nothing. That cannot be right. Absolutely horrible.

Having entered my fourth day of torture by the beach I was looking for things to do when my son called. I told him I had nothing to do. He asked, have you been to the beach to hang out for the day? Uh, no. What for, I thought. But isn’t that the reason I came here? Oh my God!

If you have a worrying mind then you have a worrying mind, and every day the challenge to manage thoughts is real. Managing thoughts is the same as eating for me, you just have to do it every day if you want to survive. So, I am going to the beach today.

Oh, and one more thing, I have been writing to do’s to remind myself to write. Those have gotten no writing from me, until today for some reason, maybe because I stopped allowing worry to consume me. So worry can be unproductive? Yes, of course I knew that. But worry about not being productive and what to do that would be productive can be nonproductive too? Hmmm.