Happiness

Is it a choice?

That question - Is happiness your choice? - is critical to your happiness.

Why? Because how you choose to perceive the world and events, both internal and external, is the criterion. The key.

Is that true? Yes, if you believe in determinism. Yes, if you believe in free will. Yes, if you believe in almost anything. No, if you believe in being a victim.

Is this harsh? Maybe.

Is this hard to do? Yes and no.

Is this true? Ah, that is the correct and only question. Because if it is true, it is the key to your happiness.

Of course, losing a limb or having an illness that will end your life in six months can make choosing how you perceive circumstances challenging. But that should not stop you from reflecting on the truth of the statement that happiness is your choice.

Most of us do not face extreme conditions, although it feels like that when we are in the middle of a divorce, health challenge, or financial crisis.

Moreover, many of us do not choose happiness even when there is no present challenge at hand.

But.

Do you want to be happy?

Are you willing to let go of being a victim and choose to make yourself responsible for how you perceive life and whatever it throws your way?

I struggled with happiness most of my life. During my first divorce, the realization that I would be separated from my children, whether I wanted that or not, was devastating. The anger I felt had nowhere to go.

Prostate cancer crushed me. Why was this happening to me? I spent most of my life doing all the right things.

Losing all my money after thirty years of relentless work put me into affordable housing in my fifties. No longer could I claim to be the man who provided for my family.

I wanted to be happy. I worked to find happiness.

Once, I had a vision. I was in the gutter. Literally. It was crystal clear. I decided I did not want to live in the gutter. Never again.

I cried, and I screamed. I begged God to show me how to be happy. I argued that happiness could not be understood. Was too complex. Unachievable. No such thing.

Then, I realised I could choose happiness. Define happiness. And, I made a mantra that I use to this day - “My happiness is determined by my outlook and thoughts. My power and Divine right to choose my thoughts is the key.”

I decided to be honest. No matter what. So that now, every argument I make against happiness being my choice can be dispatched with honest and courageous self-reflection.

What do you choose?