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The Confusion Sets In
The title of this post comes from a song by Live that I have always loved, it tells a sad tale of the reality of life and death. Life occasionally forces us to focus on one aspect at a time - our livelihood and the stress or joy that happens as we struggle to make money or the delight in obtaining the things we need and want, the ecstasy, joy, sadness, anger, and frustration that happens as we enter, endure, or exit relationships, or the start of life at birth to its end at death. These events take control of our thoughts and feelings, and then we categorize them as bad or good. But are they? And what is the meaning of all this? Human existence fascinates me.
It started as a child, confused and hiding with my sister in a kitchen cupboard while my alcoholic father did terrible things to my mother and our home. What did that mean? As a young child it was impossible to sort out, not much easier as an adult. Ditto with my divorce, fear of death, and questions surrounding god, not the least of which is why god allows horrible things to happen. The confusion sets in.
But I chose to look at these things, and study them. Serendipitously, the right tools, people, and books came to me throughout my life. Even though my penchant for studying these things did not save me from life, it did give me compassion and a deep love for all humans, and life itself. Now I want to share my thoughts and what I have learned about all this, but again the confusion set in. I have struggled with my ego, my fears, my doubts, and refuse to throw them in a closet or keep them at bay through sheer determination. I want the sweeping away of my ego and fears to be sincere and real. That takes time, and a lot of work, and courage. I have made a lot of progress but this is not a completed task, although, I do enjoy the effort of this task much more than I used to. Perhaps now, I am ready.
But writing a book? Let’s be honest here. What am I trying to say, and what do I have to offer? There are literally thousands of brilliant people sharing information to help us live a better life, Tony Robbins for those that like his style, Byron Katie for others, and Jordan Peterson has now climbed the stage, and I find his wisdom brilliant. Ok then, how about new wisdom? There is no wisdom I have found or can offer that has not been told by others. Of course, I do realize that wisdom must be told in many ways and repeated often, but I do not feel that is what my muse wants me to do. And I do not want to preach or get perceived as “knowing.”
We are not the first humans to wonder about our origins, the meaning of life, or how to avoid suffering. These questions are the origin and nexus of religion. As a younger man I criticized religion because I felt it caused people to focus on the stories and lose sight of the important wisdom. I feel differently now, and am grateful for all that religion has taught me. I have learned from many great teachers, some have been institutions, some experiences, and others have called themselves coaches, masters, guru’s, or other names, but all have given me gifts. What made these teachers right for me, why was I able to hear even if they were repeating wisdom that had been spoken many times before and by others? I finally had a revelation. Make it interesting, personalize the story, share how events in my life caused me to find and use pieces of wisdom. This I can do honestly, sincerely, and without pretending to know anything. There is so much I want to share. So, I put my Quiet Clarity site on hold and created this site, The Fate of David Resnick, where I will post about my journey of writing a book, and possibly actually write the book itself.