Traps and Pitfalls
Ok, so now I have a good understanding of what I hope my reader will get out of my book, which means I understand what I want to say. This seems great until I start to get distracted and stray off topic. Or jump too far ahead in the process. Which I do, regularly. Right now, and as I write this post, I am writing the chapter on God, which is a very important chapter, but that chapter cannot get understood by my reader in the manner in which it wants to be understood without some background and context. But I love writing this chapter and desperately want to share it now, but that is not the best path forward for writing the book. Taking one step back in the process, and to illustrate a second example, I ask myself why it took so long to figure out what my topic was, what I actually wanted to say, and I can see this same dynamic happening. I jump around, I veer off course, and it feels like there is an equally strong force opposing my desire to express something.
Now here we have a choice, do we want to spend a few years exploring what precisely is causing me to veer off course and get distracted, what that equally strong and opposing force might be? Or, should we accept that it is there somehow working to distract us from the task? I mean I could really dive deep into this one dynamic of how our mind works on parallel paths, or how there are external forces at play, or how personal habits morph into both enemy and foe, but will that help me write the book? Where and when, exactly, do we decide we have enough awareness of a thing at play, a thing we cannot fully define or understand, and then decide which path to take? This could be a whole book, a subfield within psychology, a personal growth path for me personally, and take plenty of time and energy from the proposed objective. Perhaps it is a better topic? In any event, I make my point, a choice must get made. And then, most importantly, a bit of discipline must come into play.
And by the way, how clever I am. I marvel at my insights and wisdom. But are they mine? Is there a muse, an alien passing on intelligence, is it God that tells me things? This could be a very interesting expedition too, or maybe it is a trap, but shouldn’t I spend a few more years looking into this? Perhaps for the sake of the topic I can use the awareness I have acquired to recognize this must be my ego, that I have a part of me that would like to be famous, or that would like to be a spokesperson for higher intelligence or even God, and perhaps I am. And really, I must have something special to be a spokesperson for anything of this great importance, although why do I think this thing is so important? Maybe my topic is of no importance at all. The interplay between my ego with all its desires and fears is challenging, but the best I can do is remain aware, best I can, and stay focused on the objective that I have chosen. I must recognize that becoming aware of my ego and its playful ways is an important but small part of dancing together. I must put this party into a context that will allow me to move forward. So, for me, I am grateful to have an interesting objective, goal, and purpose. The many ways in which it will embellish my ego must get accepted, even appreciated, but not taken seriously. My goal, at this point, is not to eliminate every different way that my ego tries to control me, not to eliminate the myriad of feelings that come from visions of grandeur or fame that my ego presents to me, but to recognize them for what they are, a part of myself that enjoys these things. Not take them too seriously one way or another, get back on course and write my book, keep moving forward.
But my wife thinks I am nuts, so do my kids. And let’s not forget the mess I myself am in, what with anxiety, hypochondria, and all other manner of phobias and ill mental health. Shouldn’t that alone stop me? …and oh God my credentials, of which there are none…or the fact that I cannot write that well. People do not care about what I have to say. I am not a great writer. Nobody will read what I write. But the fate of humanity rests in my hands, ok, that is ludicrous and so are the rest of my thoughts.
Let me stop all this nonsense as it is now time to work on my outline, I mean I have the topic and I know what I want to include, and laying out my argument in the correct order to show that it is now urgent for humans to evolve is critical, so that is what I will tackle next. Carry on and all that! I calm down and get back on task. These are the troubles of writing and I am sure they happen to everyone that chooses to write, or do anything else. So who knows what will happen.
Most importantly, I want to keep my eyes open, I want to do the best I can to eliminate folly from my writing, I want to write using the highest wisdom I have access to. And also most importantly, I want to write it in a way that is simple and clear, but compelling, and helps others to move forward in a way that helps them and the rest of humanity evolve.